9 Ways to Stop Beating Ourselves Up for Our Reproduction
I have never known as an adult the realities of a world where abortion was illegal or birth control was inaccessible. I know that prior to the birth control movement women without access to family-planning information often had large families without any choice otherwise. This was a time when talking about using birth control was shameful and debase. If women knew of herbal abortives, like Queen Anne's Lace or Penny Royal, they took them. Some tippled turpentine. Other women tried invasive self-abortions using wire coat hangers, knitting needles, or slippery elm sticks. Some threw themselves down flights of stairs. Others went to doctors, where some lived and some died. This was never my reality.
Over the past several years, lawmakers have challenged many of women's reproductive rights and health options. The "Global Gag Rule" was re-introduced which prevents access to reproductive information internationally. The current Supreme Court, many of whom are close to retirement, hangs on a one-vote favor of women's reproductive rights and health. The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban created in 2003 is one of several strategies to eventually destroy the reproductive rights that Roe v. Wade granted in 1973. On April 1, 2004, George W. Bush made federal law the Unborn Victims of Violence Act (UVVA), which establishes a fetus or embryo from the moment of conception as a separate victim in federal crimes. Current officials for the Department of Health and Human Services, including Wade Horn, deny government assistance to single mothers and cohabitating couples and promote marriage to women needing that assistance. Additionally, Federal funding cannot currently be used for abortion. The majority of counties in the United States lack abortion providers. Forty-four million Americans do not have health insurance, the majority of whom are women and children.
At the same time there have been a few successes. Mifepristone was approved by the FDA, as was Plan-B. However, activists who believe that access to information about birth control, abortion, and reproduction is necessary for women and men are worried. They say if we don't reframe how we talk about and understand abortion, we can kiss abortion goodbye permanently. One area that some activists want to revise is our take on morality, to start saying an abortion is a moral choice because it is ethically right for women to decide if they are able to have children or not.
Where we might not feel embarrassed to confess that we use condoms, dental dams, the pill or Depo, some of us are mortified to admit the use of Plan B, Mifepristone, or surgical abortions. But why? Shouldn't concern for our reproduction encompass all extremes and shouldn't we be able to freely discuss them without shame or guilt? History shows that people will control their personal reproduction regardless of legality. The reality is that abortion is either legal or illegal and unsafe. Here's how I think we can approach the morality issue on reproduction and be S.H.A.M.E.L.E.S.S.
Sex. Admit that you are going to have sex. Admit it to yourself, to your partner, to your friends. Come clean that it might happen frequently or only if you're lucky.
Health. Knowing the health risks is important. Having an abortion in the first trimester is twenty-five times safer than childbirth (Newhall 136).
Abortion. If the condom broke, use Plan-B which is a high dose of hormones. Plan-B works up to 72 hours after any type of unprotected sex, if one is not already pregnant. Plan-B is not currently over-the-counter, but a prescription for Plan-B can be obtained from a doctor for the "just in cases." Mifepristone is the abortion pill taken within the first seven to nine weeks of pregnancy. Finally available in the United States, it is safe and effective and has been on the market for over two decades in Europe. There are also other medical and surgical abortion procedures. More information is available at Planned Parenthood (www.plannedparenthood.org) or the National Council for Research on Women's Clearinghouse of information (www.ncrw.org/misinfo/health.htm).
Mental. Every child deserves to be wanted. How does it feel to be unwanted? How does it feel to be born under a government that does not ensure that all of its children have affordable health care, quality education, and living within a safe, clean, and non-toxic environment? There is no need to feel ashamed or guilty for a decision. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Education and Employment. Historically, pregnancy disrupts women's access to education and employment. Nearly everything in our society tells women that it is their responsibility to stop their career or education for children. Quality childcare is expensive. Many companies offer some leave for pregnancy, but the lower one is on the social ladder, the less this is true. Further, statistics show that women with children have less economic security. There are web sites that list which companies are family and women friendly, for example: www.now.org/issues/wfw/summary.html.
Life. This is your life. What are your goals? Do you want children or not? Where do you see yourself next week? Next month? A year from now? Five? Ten? It's important to take some time to plan goals and for life's "what ifs."
Evaluation. What's your take on the issue? There are many great resources out there, such as books like Cunt by Inga Muscio, Beyond Choice by Andrew Sanger, and Unfinished Business by Julianne Malveaux and Deborah Perry, Beggars and Choosers by Rickie Solinger, or websites like NOW (www.now.org), Planned Parenthood (www.plannedparenthood.org), or March for Women's Lives (www.marchforwomen.org).
Safe Sex and Sex Education. If you're not practicing safe sex, you should be. End of story. Unfortunately, safe sex education in schools is more often a lesson in fear. Fortunately, safe sex education isn't restricted to high schools any longer and can be found at Planned Parenthood (www.plannedparenthood.org) or the National Council for Research on Women's Clearinghouse of information (www.ncrw.org/misinfo/health.htm).
Surrender and Acceptance. In a perfect world women would not have to fight for their reproductive rights and freedoms. We did in the past, we do now, and we may have more struggles in the future. Feeling shameful, guilty, and beating ourselves up is destructive and it's time to move on.
Laura Madeline Wiseman is an adjunct lecturer at the University of Arizona. Her works have appeared in 13th Moon, The Minnesota Review, Paper Street, and other publications. Her books and chapbooks include: Arriving in One Piece (2006), Plastic Matches (2002), and What They Wore on their Feet (2000).
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Laura Madeline Wiseman is an adjunct lecturer at the University of Arizona. Her works have appeared in 13th Moon, The Minnesota Review, Paper Street, and other publications. Her books and chapbooks include: Arriving in One Piece (2006), Plastic Matches (2002), and What They Wore on their Feet (2000). 
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