This article is not about some spiritual prophecy; then again, perhaps it is. Our thoughts can and do affect our reality. What we think will happen often does, but I'm talking more about how what we think about ourselves - negative or positive - often come to be what happens. We create "self-fulfilling prophecies" from the ways in which we perceive ourselves. We have certain expectations of ourselves, as well as how the world is going to treat us. Many of our expectations come from our self-concept, the view we have which is influenced by the way people respond to us. Our expectations have an influence on the outcome of events in our lives.

Self-fulfilling prophecies happen all the time, even if we don't label them or even recognize them as happening. For example, you may have an interview for a job, and you expect to be nervous and mess up - and then that's exactly what you do! You expect to have a bad time at a party because "no one likes you - and then that's just how it happens. A teacher in grade school says, "You won't be able to understand this," and then you can't seem to make yourself understand the subject. "I'm stupid at math," then becomes your mantra, which limits you trying new experiences. These are some examples of self-fulfilling prophecies.

There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies. One type occurs when people tell you negative things about you and so you create negative expectations of a situation, which in turn influences your behavior. Saying, "I don't know anything about ..." will influence your behaviur when faced with that subject. The belief, "I'm ugly" may influence you to behave in unattractive ways, or to be shy with the opposite sex. Your belief creates the self-fulfilling prophecy. Friends may tell you about someone, and describe them in negative ways; ;you then meet that person with preconceived ideas about them and your behavior is affected . Abracadabra - a self-fulfilling prophecy!

This first type of self-fulfilling prophecy is imposed on you by an outside person. Negative parents who tell children, "You'll fail if you try that!" or "You're too clumsy for sports" are creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Teachers who are negative about abilities or intelligence, or who label students as "slow" or "unfocused" create a negative self-fulfilling prophecy that students too often act out and make come true. Humans respond to expectations placed upon us, by other people and by themselves.

The second type of self-fulfilling prophecy is that which is self-imposed, usually in a negative way. You wake up in a cross mood and say, "This will be a bad day!" And so it is. But what if you consciously changed your mind (and your mood)? You may still create a self-fulfilling prophecy, but this one will make you happy. If you start a new class at school and decide you will learn something, you probably will.

Since we are in charge of our own thinking, it's important to realize that personal expectations don't have to be negative, and outside expectations don't have to affect you. You may find that you like a person even though others have told you they are not likeable - and that you shouldn't like them either. Yet we're the ones in charge of our thoughts and we're the ones who get to decide whom we like or dislike. The way in which we look at the world has an affect on the present and the future, and it's in our power to change our expectations and outlooks from negative to positive.

Did I say that it is my belief that we have the inner power to make healthy changes in our thinking? Well, we do, even though it's hard work. The personal perception you have of yourself (self-esteem) is able to create great changes in your future growth, and gives you power over your actions and thoughts. It's hard work and often requires the help of a professional, or a very good, positive friend.

Here is a short list of suggestions that can help you reach positive goals and take that step toward giving yourself positive self-fulfilling prophecies:

Have realistic expectations - perfection is an unreachable goal.
Have a realistic perception of yourself - nobody is all good or all bad.
Have the will to change - and work at it everyday.
Seek the skills to change. Talk to a counselor, your pastor, read books.

Remember that you have the ability to help yourself.

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