Condoms are our friends. Have you stopped to think of all the wonderful things condoms do for us? They are cheap, effective, readily available, and completely unpretentious. But thanks to the defamatory statements made by abstinence-only groups, certain religious officials, and other people who just don't know what the hell they're talking about, they've become something socially stigmatized. This is an image that transcends borders and languages - a surprisingly universal taboo. We all have an embarrassing condom story or two.

I was recently searching for my lost camera cable when it occurred to me that I had probably left it in a camera bag I had forgotten at my parent's house. So I promptly called up my father and asked him to peruse through my bag to see if it was in fact there. While he was looking he named off the various things he found and after he named a few benign items I heard this: "Oh, look, a condom." Picture that. My father had found blatant, tangible evidence that I, his little baby girl, was indeed a sexually active deviant. I could just picture him holding the inconspicuous package that contained latex, a little lubricant, and lascivious possibilities. In spite of myself, I was slightly mortified. And for some reason whenever I find myself in an embarrassing or compromising situation, I like to savor it. I like to think of it more as a quirk than a disability. So I told him an even more embarrassing story from my teaching days at a school in the Japanese countryside: I was late for a meeting so I rushed into the teacher's room and quickly pulled my folder from my bag. Unbeknownst to me, the very same condom was stuck to a flap in my folder and when I yanked the folder from my bag the condom dislodged, became airborne, and hit my very conservative principal in the chest. With everyone too embarrassed to acknowledge what had happened, the condom lay there on the table throughout the meeting with 14 pairs of eyes desperately trying to ignore it.

Hundreds of millions of dollars are annually fueled into abstinence-only programs that simply don't work. One of the reasons may be that the majority of these programs use false, misleading, or biased information. Does anyone remember back in the god ol' days when facts were taught in school and moral education was the responsibility of the parents, not the administrators? Yeah, me neither. These programs also promote myths and fallacies regarding our little latex friend, like how condoms aren't effective against preventing the spread of STDs or preventing unwanted pregnancies. Their dedication to promoting ignorance is quite stunning, especially when countless scientific studies worldwide have shown that consistent condom use is the most effective way to reduce exposure to HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases among sexually-active individuals. True, I don't have any children myself. But knowing how much fun sex is and how intense a normal teenager's libido is, if I did have children I would want them to know a couple facts about safe sex rather than assume that the "Just Say No" approach will actually work this time - seeing how effective it was with curbing drugs, alcohol, and school violence.

I have heard innumerable excuses from people, teens and adults alike, for not using condoms or any other form of safe sex. They are all stupid. End of argument.

So what can be done to reverse the damage to the good name of condoms everywhere? Quite a bit, actually. The spread of HIV/AIDS has inspired a surprising reaction from artistic communities around the world, and in recent years this creative energy has turned to redeeming the condom in the eyes of the public and promoting its use. In New York, city officials have launched a campaign to revamp condoms with spiffy designs and witty slogans to promote their use among the city's population. It's hoped that the new consumer-friendly, pop culture-inspired condoms will make carrying condoms as hip as carrying Louis Vitton or Ambercrombie and Fitch. Art shows promoting safe sex and HIV prevention have featured pieces made entirely of condoms. Considering how, compared to men, women are universally more sexually restricted than men, it's comforting to see women artists take the lead in this new artistic movement. Women artists and designers are turning out purses, shoes, bathing suits, sculptures, and entire dresses made of condoms. While they may not be the most comfortable of fashion choices, a definite statement is made: We wear our hearts on our sleeves - and then some. 

An ongoing project promoting this very idea is The Condom Project (www.thecondomproject.org) - an organization, which uses creative mediums to promote consistent condom use. One of the main ways they accomplish this is by teaching communities how to make their very own Condom Art Pins. It's pretty self-explanatory: volunteers visit communities around the world armed with condoms, double-sided tape, pins, and art paper - and through a summer-camp-esque arts and crafts activity, they open dialogue about safe sex and demystifying the image of condoms. "While teaching them how to make the pins, people become more comfortable with the simple aspect of holding the condoms, talking about the condoms and discussing other subjects related to their use."

Another such organization of note is The Art Pack Project (www.artpackproject.com), which sends out condoms to different artists who then decorate them and post their little works of art on the Internet. Some of the designs are cute, some are hard-core, and some are just plain awesome. Check it out - good times.

Sex is fun. At least it should be. Condoms should reflect this - they are, after all, another tool to help you have fun safely. They're like bike helmets for adults - you don't have to settle for the bland helmet that makes you look like a dork. Go for a bitchin' one with flames painted on it or My Little Pony characters merrily prancing on the cover. Condomania (www.condomania.com) has got you covered. An entire franchise devoted to safe sexual exploration and the wonder that is: the condom.

And nothing breaks the tension between two new lovers better than slipping on a cute dolphin-shaped condom. Passion is all about novelty. Our mutual friend can help to spice things up without having to worry about any burning sensations in the bathroom the next morning.

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