Two women walk up to the simple pull-out stage in the room. Lights dimmed slightly, they hold hands, a slight tremble to their step as they take the stage to face the small crowd before them. Although they have only met tonight, they visibly take strength from each other. Slowly, each of them begins to speak.
“I was assaulted.” “I was raped.” “I was only 13 years old.” “He hit me again and again.” “I tried to kill myself.” “I ran away from home.” “I’m speaking up.”
The two women are here tonight at an event to commemorate the anniversary and the memories of the Montreal Massacre of 14 female engineering students in Montreal, Quebec, Canada in 1989. On this day, the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, candlelight vigils and memorials are taking place across Canada. Here, in St. John’s, Newfoundland and Labrador, a small group of people have come together to share their stories. They are here to talk about violence against women, to talk about their activism, their experiences, to remember, and learn from one another in hopes of creating change.
With only 15 people in the room and 4 scheduled performers, I had no expectations of how the night might unfold. Songs, poetry, and stories filled the room by these four women as we each shared stories with one another. When we were done, I stood to open up the floor to anyone else who might wish to speak. I had no hopes that anyone else might come up to the stage – but witnessing is a powerful tool for change, perhaps one that I had underestimated.
Audre Lorde says, “And where the words of women are crying to be heard, we must each of us recognize our responsibility to seek those words out, to read them and share them and examine them in their pertinence to our lives.” It’s our untold stories that impassion us to create change for the future. With 1 in 4 women in Canada - and 1 in 3 women worldwide - victims of violence, the trauma is itself one of historic proportions. How we can hope to create change unless we listen to one another’s stories and learn from each other?
The floor opened up to the small audience, I watched as one by one women came up to the microphone to speak their words. A first telling of childhood abuse and sexual assault, never before admitted aloud. Words of admiration by another woman, who spoke of her awe at each of telling our stories on this night.
And these two women, who slowly walked up from the back of the room – here they first met, at the candlelight vigil earlier in the evening. Seated beside one another, they listened to the words of the young feminist speaker at the vigil and were moved and undone. And in becoming undone, they shared their own experiences with one another – similar experiences of childhood sexual assault, assault in adulthood, and struggles with mental illness. They came to the after-event, and taking courage in one another’s stories, walked up to the stage to tell their stories to a room full of strangers.
Strangers – who listened, and became undone.
There are few days where I am not inspired, awestruck, motivated, and contemplative of the words of women, of the stories that still need to be told. I am inspired by the words of Audre Lorde, who says, “What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence?”
Why should our secrets die with us? Why not tell our stories, tell our secrets, reveal them to one another? The effect might be life-changing - either for the storyteller or the listener. There are multiple opportunities throughout the year to tell our stories to one another – V-Day and The Vagina Monologues asks women to mic that which is silent – “the vagina” – silent no more. International Women's Day asks us to celebrate women and learn from one another. There are poetry readings, coffeehouses, blogs, forums, anthologies, art exhibits, protests – each of which are places where we can tell our stories.
And – there is the opportunity to simply ask.
“Tell me your story. I want to know. I want to listen. I want to understand.”
It’s really so very simple, and yet it’s not done. Not nearly enough.
So listen – really truly listen. Someone else’s life – and your own – may depend on it.
About the Author
Leisha Sagan is a freelance writer/graduate student/compulsive traveler/eternally single woman. A Vagina Warrior, she continues trying to do it all by doing steady freelance work and working on women's movement events such as The Vagina Monologues. She gets to see the ocean every day of her life.
I was also blessed to be in the audience that night. To see so many people willing to get up on a stage and share their stories was great. As I sat and listened I was so proud of these women. Some knew each other, some were strangers who had meet on that night. There was a variety of ages perhaps from early 20's to late 60's.It was a very emotional night.
To see the two ladies come to the stage together, one would think that they were friends. They had only meet that evening and were sharing their stories with each other. I sat and observed how they had pulled their strengths together to tell their stories. I was very proud of all of the women that night.
I had so much to offer and was going to speak next. My legs would not move. Completly paralyzed.I am not a women of few words and don't mind public speaking, however I know how much courage it took for them to be able to share their stories. I was completely overwhelmed.
Afterwards I spoke to some of these women and thanked them letting me part of their lives if only for that night. As I was leaving I looked back to the room with pride as I know change was brought about that evening.
Leisha, thank you for sharing this powerful essay. It brought back so many memories of similar moments of transformation. In particular, I remembered when the LA. Foundation Against Sexual Assault came to New Orleans for a display of The Clothesline Project (http://www.clotheslineproject.org/), and how overwhelming it was to see dozens and dozens of t-shirts. Break the silence!
Sheilagh Ethne O’Leary is an established award-winning art photographer born and living in St. John’s, Newfoundland. Her work has been exhibited/collected internationally and appears in numerous art journals and publications. Sheilagh received her art education through mentorship with Manfred Buchheit, Concordia University’s Faculty of Fine Art, Banff Centre for the Arts, and the Rockport Maine Workshops. Read More...
Leisha Sagan is a freelance writer/graduate student/compulsive traveler/eternally single woman. A Vagina Warrior, she continues trying to do it all by doing steady freelance work and working on women's movement events such as The Vagina Monologues. She gets to see the ocean every day of her life. 
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